The New Normal Strikes Again

Last month, my husband and I observed the twentieth anniversary of our daughter Catherine’s death. Losing her changed us forever. She died in an accident while on a church outing with her youth group. Although the searing pain subsided some time ago, this kind of loss is not something you “get over.” You change. You live differently. And you learn. Boy, do you learn.

North South East West One of the concepts that just fried my bacon at the time, and honestly still does, is what people call “the new normal.” I didn’t want a new normal. I wanted Catherine back. I wanted to have to cook special foods to compensate for her allergies. Instead, I stood mutely in the supermarket, absolutely incapable of making a menu for the just the three of us without substituting buffalo for beef and rice for potatoes. I wanted to drive her to band practice and argue about her messy room and laugh with her over dumb jokes.

I guess I finally got used to the new normal. Twenty years later my heart still hurts over how much I miss her, but I am different because she died. Surviving tragedy gave me clarity on how to discern what’s important and what’s not. And that’s not a bad thing.

At The Intersection of New and Normal

In recent days, I’ve found myself loitering at the crossroads of New and Normal once again.

I spent the month of January coughing my lungs out with no voice, no sleep, and no energy. I wrote nothing. What I did do was listen. I read, I prayed, and God spoke. Here’s what I heard Him say:

He is the only Person who never changes. Since all other sentient beings change, so do all relationships. Usually I grieve these changes. The more important they were to me, the deeper the sorrow. My relationship to the Christian community was of paramount importance to me. I’ve been so blessed to have experienced deep emotional and spiritual ties, but let’s face it: nothing stays the same. Before the election of Trump, I was blissfully unaware of the rise of the Religious Right as a political power. The last three years have been a heartache of discovery, but facing the truth is helping me determine what I want the rest of my life to look like.

Fortunately, the second thing I heard God say is that I am not alone. Kevin gave me Shane Claiborne’s book The Irresistible Revolution, and it blew my mind. There is a whole world of Christians who believe as I do, and who are illuminating Jesus simply by how and where they show up to serve and support. I am learning so much about constructive protest. At this point I don’t know how that will figure into my mission between here and senility, but I trust God will reveal this along with the logistics for action.

Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby

Speaking of revelation, the third thing I heard God say was, “wait.” As I’ve mentioned before, I’m rereading Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby. One of the seven realities of Experiencing God says “God Takes the Initiative.” All through Scripture, when the Lord had something He wanted to accomplish, it was He who approached humanity. His servants, a motley crew to say the least, had a few things in common, but primarily this: they were willing. They loved God to the best of their abilities, they listened, and they were willing. None of them approached the Creator and said, “hey God, I have this great idea! What if we…?”

No. Most of them were just minding their own business when they saw a burning bush, or God showed up with blueprints for a boat, or angels walked into their camp, or an itinerant carpenter called them to fish for men. So for the moment, I am content to do what I feel He has called me to do thus far, and that is to keep writing.

The new normal is usually sad, at least for a time. It always involves loss. This is no surprise, given what Jesus had to say in John 16:33: “In this life, you will have trouble.” But there is so much hope in what He said next: “But take heart! I have overcome the world.” And talk about living differently! As one of my editors used to say, “Now yer talkin’!”

Is There Hope for Living Differently?

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I am so looking forward to Heaven. Were it not for the assurance that everything will be okay in the end, I simply couldn’t go on. Sometimes I use it as a crutch. I give up when I need to persevere. It would be so easy to do that now. I can’t toe the company line on the Religious Right’s agenda, and being the voice of reason (Remember Jesus!) seems to fall on deaf ears. I don’t want to hurt my friends’ feelings. To take my marbles and just go home is tempting. But I know it’s not the path laid out for me.

So for now, I will continue to read and learn and speak up, and in the meantime, pray for a New Normal. One where I can serve and socialize with like-minded believers. Sure, we might hoist a protest sign or two, but I’m hoping for a more productive venture that gives the world a glimpse of Jesus. When we really see Him, the glaring contradictions with Trump’s policies are obvious and will require no clarification.

And when the time is right; when everything here is said and done in my brief stay on Earth: Heaven is coming!

When I get home, Catherine will be right there! And thanks to the answers God gives us in His Word, I know that she will still be Catherine, only made perfect. She still gets to be her same self, but wrapped in the love and light of Jesus. I can’t wait. And as for all this political nonsense- the real Jesus will be revealed, much to the guaranteed astonishment of us all. And the New Normal, the Glorious Normal, will be very, very good indeed.